Do you and your spouse have a joint account?

“For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh,” the Bible says. But does this ‘becoming one’ also refer to finances?

It has been said that one of the biggest cause of conflict among couples is finances, it is also the number one cause for divorce. So the way you handle money as a couple could make or mar your relationship. That being said, what works for one couple might not work well for another. While some couples appreciate and enjoy the transparency and openness that comes from having an account you both have access to, others will rather prevent trouble by having each partner deal with his/her own money.


Marian Schembari recently wrote about her experience with keeping her funds completely separate from her husband’s and why this works for them in an essay for Good Housekeeping. The couple has been married a year and have chosen not to mix their money at all. They split every bill down the middle and couldn’t imagine living any other way.

Elliot and I have been married for just over a year now, and together for almost three. During that time, we made the deliberate choice to keep our finances 100% separate. We don’t have a joint bank account, and every expense is split 50-50. Half of rent, furniture, utilities, and vet bills constantly whizz back and forth, with a tidy spreadsheet to manage outstanding bills.

As for savings, both Marian and Elliot put the same amount of money away, but they refuse to “police each other” regarding who saves what and when. And when they chose to blow their savings accounts on separate trips last year, neither questioned the other’s decision. Apparently, this lifestyle choice was one Marian chose to adopt after witnessing her parents constantly discussing money during her childhood.

As a kid, I watched my dad ask my mom how much she spent each day, jotting down the particulars in his little yellow reporter’s notebook: $3 for coffee, $15.95 at Barnes & Noble.

I never heard my parents fight about money, but they sure talked about it a lot. To my young ears, whenever they went over the daily spending, it felt like he was more her dad than mine. Growing up, I heard again and again that money was the number one reason couples fight. So when I got married, sharing money just didn’t make sense. Why would I want my husband to question why I bought those $200 shoes? Why would I want him — love of my life that he is — to be able to spend the money I worked hard for? Or vice versa?

Taking her experiences into consideration, it makes sense why Marian would want to keep money separate, but is this something that can be maintained permanently?

While some women believe this was a bit selfish of each partner, others hailed the fact that they were able to find what works for them. Of course, having separate or joint accounts are not your only option. There is an in-between.